The Do’s and Dont's of Chatting on Online Dating Sites
With so many singles going online to meet a partner, it's crucial to know how to engage on dating sites. Check out our 5 rules for chatting online and learn how to make the right first impression - and land that date!
So, you’re one of the 50 million singles who have tried online dating, and you’re having a lot of fun. You’ve completed the signup, you’ve built a pretty engaging profile (if you say so yourself) and you’re enjoying yourself browsing through local singles and checking out the full functionality of the top online dating sites out there. Chatrooms, dating diaries, online gifts and innovative features abound, you can finally see what all the fuss is about, and why the online dating industry is worth almost $2 Billion. But with all these singles literally at your fingertips, what’s the best way to make the right first impression, and get the most out of online chat?
DO Make the Right First Impression
Your first message is arguably the most important one, and while everyone is looking for something slightly different, there are some obvious turn offs. While you might think short and sweet is key, simply sending a message which says “Hi” or “How are you?” is guaranteed to get lost in their inbox. What’s the incentive to reply? What’s unique about you amongst the many other hopefuls? Try for an interesting factoid or even a joke, perhaps related to something they’ve shown interest in on their online profile. This shows you’ve looked at more than just their photo, and also gives a bit of info about your own personality, too.
DON’T… Come On Too Strong
While it’s great to be confident, and a recent match.com survey showed that women are hugely turned off by men who lack confidence there is certainly a way to take it too far. A simple compliment such as “you have beautiful eyes” or “what a great smile” is always lovely to hear for either gender, but anything sexual in nature, or repeated compliments can make someone feel nervous rather than flattered. Sweeping compliments for an initial message are also a big nono, as most people would rather wait until you get to know each other a bit better before being told you can “sense” they are special or unique.
Do… take everything with a pinch of salt
Unfortunately the internet is an easy place for dishonesty, and while most people are genuinely looking for love and romance, it is easy to exaggerate on the finer details. Studies have shown that men lie most about age, height and income, while women can stretch the truth when it comes to weight and physical build. Focus on getting to know one another, and don’t be too caught up with the information on your crush’s profile in these areas. If you think of everything as slightly more ball park, it will save you some disappointment if your match has been a bit liberal with the truth.
Safety is really important, especially when you’re learning about a new person. Never feel pressured into moving faster than you’re ready to, and take advantage of the online dating sites full range of functionality. All the best sites will have inbox messaging which is similar to email and a great place to start. Some offer safe SMS texting if you want to chat offline, or try Zoosk who have their own messenger app for chatting on the go. Once you’re ready, see if your website offers live chat by cam, or safe phone calling. Once you’re comfortable chatting on audio and video, you can start discussing an offline meet in a safe and public place.
DO… Find Out What You Have In Common
If you can keep up a flowing conversation online when there’s no distractions and without an activity to keep you occupied, you’re off to a great start on the path to a budding romance. Your best chance of avoiding awkward is to make sure you have plenty in common to start with. One great way to do this is to join a more niche dating website. Try a religious niche such as JDate or ChristianMingle or am age or lifestyle choice such as SingleParentMeet or OurTime.
DON’T… Give Up
Not having any luck with the members you match with? Try expanding your search results, or spicing up your profile a bit to attract a different kind of user. After all, studies show that 94% of US dating site users say that online dating expands their dating pool. With such great functionality for dating both at home and on the go, and a ton of awesome dating tools on the top online dating websites, it’s only a matter of time before you find the right match.
Got through the first date and gearing up for Date #2? Try these conversation starters to make sure it runs smoothly.